PLAY-TEST: A System You Cannot Beat
by Paul Johnson
10/11/2000
So a pack of kindred show up in yours dreams whispering dark secrets
of power and guile. You snap awake in a cold sweat, rush to the box of
cards and quickly slam key elements together. It is 2am; your
significant other would not appreciate your excellent idea, even if
she was awake and played this crazy game. The other thing you have in
mind is probably illegal in the lower 48, but you don’t want to sleep.
If you call three V:tES players, they may want to play, but chances
are just as good they’ll not appreciate your enthusiasm in the small
hours of the night.
What can you do? This deck seems too good to be true. Well kindred,
use my play-test system, but be warned: you cannot win. Why - Because
a real game is always worse than a dry run.
You will need a single die-6 as well as the normal blood markers. I
try to create a physical environment identical to a real game:
vampires upside down and library shuffle exactly as if in a real game.
Practice your meta-game NOW, good practice pays off during the
pressure cooker environment of a real game. Don’t face predator or
prey; look at cards with eye movement only, unless you intend to scare
other players. Embrace stoicism, do not smile or frown – be
inscrutable. This is all part of my practice sessions, just as vital
as the actual format. Ancient Romans were known to study themselves in
the mirror each morning to understand how others perceived them. This
is about a third of the game; do not miss a chance to practice!
Next, roll the die to determine seating. A roll of 1-5 indicates
place. If a 4 or 5 is rolled, that indicates number of players. On a
1-3 or 6, a follow-up roll (FUR) of 5+ indicates a 5-player game. It
might matter to an ‘X’ voting deck or a combat deck that is very card
intensive. Everything matters. Have you begun to understand, you
cannot win.
A crusty Methuselah will tell you the first few turns represent a
honeymoon period; you might get slammed, but more often get away with
outrageous risks. Therefore, this system graduates the threat level.
If you do not go first, a d6 roll of 6 indicates a master card play
(MC) that causes a loss of 1 pool unless you play a Sudden Reversal.
This roll is made each turn of the game following your discard phase.
On a MC roll of 4+ you may SR to cycle the card. Any other OOT masters
can be played on a roll of 6 only. By the way, each time you play a
master, it gets reversed on a 6, with all that implies. Remember – you
cannot win.
Having done your turn, you do the following threat rolls in this
sequence:
Turn 1 and later…
MC.........................on a 6 that you do not SR, take a pool loss
Turn 2 and later…
Bum Rush..............on a 6, a random minion gets attacked, enemy
combat rolls are at +1
Turn 3 and later…
Bleed......................on a 3+, get bled. If yes, then 4+, then
5+, then a 6 until a 6 is not rolled
Politics....................on a 6, take 1-3 vote damage unless you
have >d6 votes (or 2d6 by mid-game)
Other Blocks..........you see further block chances on a 6 for your
prey or a 5+ after the above sequence. If on predator, you restart the
bleed checks at the 5+ level after the combat is resolved.
Try to block as normal. Political actions are blockable on a 3+,
whereas Bum rushes and bleeds are automatic – until they start
stealthing. Other blocks require an initial 1 intercept. The opponent
will stealth all actions except Bum rushes on a 5+ if they are being
blocked. Any time they play more than one stealth and make it past
you, a 6 taps all your vampires that tried to block, Rush attacks only
stealth on a 6 and never cause a FN check. Eagle sights will still
work. If using something other than stealth and intercept, I sometimes
use a d8 and require an 8 for the opponent, but it has to be creative
and/or rude. Even so, you will not win.
____________________________________________________________________________
Here are the specifics of each threat vector:
BLEEDS
If a bleed is coming, determine its veracity by rolling the d6:
1= a 1 bleed that cannot get any higher
2-4 = a 1 bleed that can be modified after your block choice
5= a 2 bleed that can be modified after your block choice
6+= a 2 bleed that can be modified plus another roll at +1 before the
block
If you do not block a bleed that rolled a 2+ veracity, generate the
modifier:
1-4 = not modified
5= +1 only
6= +1 and roll again; do not throw d6 at wall when bleed gets over 5
POLITICS
Each turn, roll that d6, on a 6 a vote will spank you for 1-3 damage
if you don’t have enough voting power to resist. By mid-game this gets
tougher. For true Meths, play that the Political threat also does 1
damage on a roll of 5; I often use this addition if I have no votes
showing. Whether you block it or not, blocks comes BEFORE you know how
much, roll for another vote. Continue until a 6 is not rolled. Do not
cheat. Remember, you cannot win.
BUM RUSH
Once again, continue to roll this threat vector until a 6 is not
rolled after each battle.
This is a good time to mention other threat vectors. After all rushes
are done, roll for each vampire in torpor or card you control which
has a (D) weakness. On a 5+ it is attacked, no block indicates
destruction. Continue until all are gone or a 5+ is not rolled.
COMBAT
Unless you play Obedience or something equally cute, fights will
happen. The general rule is this: IF YOU WANT IT, THEY OPPOSE IT.
Everything is answered on a 6: maneuvers, presses, damage, and added
strikes. For really nasty combos, I use a d8 response of 8.
Use your imagination and do not sweat the little stuff. Here is the
chart:
Strike damage...........1 = S:CE
.............................2-4 = 1 hand damage, not agg.
.................................5 = 2 hand damage, not agg
.................................6 = d6 damage, FUR 1-3 = non-agg, 4-6
= AGG
............................... 7+= d6 AGG take it like you love it
Remember, if you want to go long, they like short. If you press, a 6
presses back. Consider all enemy vamps to be 2d6 in age with 1d6 blood
on them. When you play something critical, it is cancelled on a 6.
This includes Taste, Decap, Disguised, etc. The enemy is limited, so
this tends to make up for the frontal assault mentality of your
opponent. Rush combats give the enemy a +1 on all rolls, so be careful
out there.
WHAT ABOUT MY ATTACK VECTORS?
This is as good a time as any to mention something about this system
in relation to my play style. New players tend to defend too much,
whereas old Meths often attack out of proportion to defensive needs.
There are several reasons for this, but I will briefly touch on one in
relation to this play-test system.
Defense requires resources in at least four divergent arenas: bleed,
combat, politics and gimmicks. Even if your current predator happens
to focus on the one your deck specializes in, chances are they still
attack it better than you can defend. The more I play V:tES, the more
offensive I become – in both regards. Not because I prefer to attack;
defense is a losing proposition, even if you win every battle. This
system forces me to seriously defend or my deck perishes before the
offense combos can be activated.
If you are a new player, tune your deck in battle, not in solitaire.
This allows the honing of social skills as well as OJT from crusty old
claws that know many nasty tricks. Do not use my system if any of the
following phrases came out of your mouth the last game:
I didn’t know that card existed, is it a rare?
How much errata does this game have and where is the list of changes?
That interceptor keeps putting me in torpor, but I will rescue the
vampire again
Well, I’m dead next turn, I might as well attack my prey just for fun.
I lost because I borrowed _____’s deck, mine are much better.
My V:tES group uses 4CL and two edges. How does your group play?
Some of these cards are confusing. Who can Roestcheke be played on?
Etc.
If you have moved beyond the above stage, to a truly Malkavian
insanity for V:tES, read on.
HOW TO BLEED
Begin your attack as normal. You cannot see the apparent defenses. The
enemy blocks a 1 bleed on a 4+, for each point above this, add +1 to
the die roll, but a 1 roll is always a declined block (Ex: A govern
bleed is blocked on a 2+, even if you put a Conditioning on it first.)
Anything non-stealthy that helps you get through gives the die a –1
per effect. Misdirection gives a –x for pool you spent. A 6 roll
always blocks – regardless. All stealth is intercepted on a 5+, check
for each stealth event. Blocks are resolved as normal combat.
Other (D) actions are blocked on a 4+ as well. Remember that stealth
needs a further 5+ check.
Resolve blocks with the combat chart. If they torpor me, I burn my
vamp on a 6, just for fun.
If a (D) action succeeds, such as Far Mastery or Dominate Kindred, I
give myself 1 pool. Other actions simply modify block checks or bleed
threats for the following turn, be creative.
POLITICS
When your votes are not blocked, assume 1d6 votes oppose you until mid-
game, and then 2d6.
Even if the count favors your referendum, all votes fail on a 5+. For
each cute effect such as Bribe, you can re-roll the 5+. Parity shifts
are curious, for each pool not taken, add 1 vote. With KRC, each
damage you take adds 1 vote as well. Be creative and don’t cheat – you
will be tempted.
SO YOU LIKE TO FIGHT
Keep an open mind. Combat decks are always difficult run. Try bleeding
with action cards to get the system to react to you. Don’t be
surprised when they S:CE or torpor you as well. My friend Mike Nilsen
watched me play-test his Tsimitze combat deck; Dragos and Corine kept
going to torpor and even got burned by 5 agg. hits. He said, “No deck
could really do that, this system is too strong.” I looked askance at
him, “You forgot, you cannot win.”
FAQs
I bled and got the edge, how do I get pool for it or use its voting
power?
The edge is always lost after your predator attacks; throw it for
vote.
The system is too weak, am I doing something wrong?
Either your deck is strong, you only tried the system a few times or
you are cheating.
The randomness seems to create an attacker that has a tuned deck, is
this my imagination? What should I do when this happens? What is the
capitol of Denmark?
Ah, young Skywalker, at last you embrace that which is the force!
Redistribute the odds to accentuate your observation. EX: When I keep
getting bum rushed but not bled, I shift the bleed checks to start at
5+ but the Rush phase to a 4+. When working with attack vectors
already at a 6, use a d8 result of 8 to affect the shift. If results
shift, modify your dice again to reflect this. Maybe your predator
died or has bigger fish to fry.
NOTE: Restructure the table to shift the system in your favor
slightly. Pick the type of predator that suits your deck. This is not
just a loophole to play-testing for those bright Meths out there.
Copenhagen.
All my deck concepts worked perfectly, when do I get 6 pool or a VP?
You cannot win. This has been mentioned at least once before.
Can I amend this system slightly, rename it, and claim it as my own?
My answer is NO, but this will probably not stop anyone from doing
this, going on to garner fame and fortune among their peers, marry
into a powerful family and earn the undying respect of kindred the
globe over. Just send me a postcard, I don’t ask much…