LOST: Gratitude

I’m cranky.

That was more a warning than a statement, but I’m hoping we can still be friends. (You DO look lovely today.) I’m nervous to write anything because I’m worried about how cranky this is going to sound!

I mean, I was doing so well before this week! When I got discouraged, I found my gratitude. When I got mad, I found my gratitude. When I thought I couldn’t do ONE MORE THING, I still found my gratitude.

But today? Today I have lost my gratitude and I’m really hoping that someone has found it. And by “someone” I mean one of you. I figure that if one of you has it, you won’t hold it for ransom and ask for a millions dollars. Maybe. I should probably rethink my plan.

I think being bogged down with projects at work and moving and unpacking…MONTHS OF STRESS…I think it’s finally taken its toll on me. I think I’m just done. And I need a little pick-me-up. I need some pampering…maybe 17 or so naps…some me time…something to recharge the batteries, if you’ll allow me to use that tired (and probably cheesy) expression. I need some pretty things. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, maybe.

Or maybe a conference. Maybe.


I honestly didn’t start out writing about Alt Summit San Francisco. Honest to blog, I totally didn’t. I really just wanted to sit here and complain. But right when the complaining was starting to get good, and talking about pretty things, I remembered where I’ll be for about 36 hours this week. Surrounded by pretty things and ideas and more creativity than I’ll know what to do with while being in one of my favorite cities.

So maybe it’s NOT the best time for me to be picking up and heading to the city. And yes, MAYBE that’s stressing me out. And sure, there are outfits and dressing up to worry about and I’m not even packed yet, OMG. Nevermind the open apology I need to write to all other attendees because I didn’t have time to color my hair OR get a pedicure. (Sorry, friends.) But maybe it not being the perfect timing is…well, kinda perfect.

Maybe I need a break. Perhaps the timing couldn’t be better. I mean…I get to hang out with some of my favorite ladies. I get to learn and stare at pretty things and ideas. Sure, there’s the fact that I am TOTALLY out of my league! There are some fancy people headed to Alt! But I’m going to have a blast. Because I’m not going to waste this day off. I need it too much.

My gratitude isn’t back yet, but my goodness, I see hope popping up over there. And sometimes a little hope and believing there are good things up ahead is what makes all the gratitude find its way home. At least, I think it does. I’m no expert, but damn…my heart sure does feel slightly lighter.

Which is probably a good thing…I gotta fit into that cocktail dress tomorrow. (Sorry, I HAD to. You can punch me later.)