Freddy Krueger, Bloody Mary…light as a feather, tired as a board…

It’s hard to not be mad at the kids that taught MY child about Freddy Krueger, CandyMan and Bloody Mary. Even though I totally know that it’s a rite of passage that we’ve all gone through it at some point or in some way. I get it! But then again, I didn’t have YouTube around when I was a kid. And a video of some chick trying Bloody Mary in the mirror probably would’ve scared the bejeebus out of me, too. Because watching some kid try it out at a slumber party is scary enough. And while I don’t remember keeping MY parents up most of the night because I was too scared to sleep, I probably should check into that before sounding like a total ass.

And yet, I’m probably too tired to care if I sound like a total ass because OH YEAH I WAS UP MOST THE NIGHT WITH A KID TOO SCARED TO SLEEP.

When she originally told me about the all-things-scary conversation she had with her classmates, she didn’t sound wigged out by it. But I won’t lie to you, I was super annoyed. I reminded her about the conversation that we have with her ALL THE TIME about being careful what she watches…and what other people want to show her. We talk about YouTube and the on-line world and how we can’t trust everyone! In fact, there are bad people who put things on the internet that are scary or inappropriate or just NOT SOMETHING THAT I WANT MY 11 YEAR OLD TO SEE. We talk about all this! So yeah…as annoyed as I was at her classmates, I was also frustrated with her. I don’t know how many times we’ve told her that once she sees something, she cannot erase it from her brain. Ever.

She apologized. We talked about it again. And again. But so many hours had passed between that conversation and getting ready for bed, I didn’t immediately put it all together.

It started out with not wanting to go to bed. (Normal.) But really feisty about NOT wanting to go to bed. (Not normal.) And then she asked if I would lie down with her for a bit. (Normal.) And then kinda freaked out when I went to go get in my own bed. (Not normal.)

(Although, I just now remembered that the reason I couldn’t find my flip-flops this morning is because I left them in her room. I probably won’t remember this when I get home tonight, so I’ll need one of you to remember this.) (Okay, back to the story.)

So yeah…I should’ve put two and two together. I should’ve. And then when she complained about not feeling well, I thought it was the hamburger that she ate for dinner. (Because, duh.) I was so ridiculously tired, I just told her to come sleep in my room so that I could keep an eye on her. We got a little bed set up for her. But then she climbed into bed with me because The Dude was still out in the front room working on something. Again, too tired to really care, we both fell asleep. Until she needed to go back to her little makeshift bed on the floor once The Dude was ready for bed.

And then she couldn’t sleep again.

It wasn’t until about two in the morning and she just happened to mention something about the mirror on my closet door that I got it. I finally understood that it had nothing to do with a tummy ache, it had everything to do with being too scared to sleep. I felt like an idiot. And then, like the wonderful and understanding mother that I am, I was pissed. PISSED.

I promise I didn’t yell at her…but she knew I wasn’t a happy camper.

I’m not sure if you remember, but I have quite the busy and insane and stressful week ahead of me. Not getting enough sleep is a recipe for disaster. This weekend is already going to be a bit emotional for me. (To put it mildly.) But a week of stress and chaos and on top of that NO SLEEP?

It’s just not something that we should test, is what I’m saying. None of us are qualified to handle a tragedy of that magnitude.

And yet there we were…the middle of the night with not much sleep for anyone.

We moved Ramona to sleep away from the offending mirror and closer to her dad. Something about that worked and we started to go to sleep. Until she started complaining that her dad was snoring. At that point, I wanted to stick some headphones in her ears and just let her watch TV all night until she fell asleep. But thankfully, and miraculously, she finally fell sleep. I have no idea what time it was because I didn’t dare look at the clock, but I will tell you that when my alarm clock went off this morning, I’m was certain I hadn’t been asleep for more than an 15 minutes. I also felt hungover. Which is a lovely way to start your morning.

And my kid? Well, she was just as chipper as could be. So chipper, in fact, that I may still have irrational anger about it while I try to figure out a way to mainline ALL THE CAFFEINE straight into my veins.

Deadlines and insane schedules be damned, we’ll see if I can just stay awake for the entirety of today. However, If you see me sobbing and rocking in a corner, please just buy me a Starbucks and send me on my way.

But if I start weeping with gratitude making us both feel uncomfortable, please do not hold it against me. I’m really hoping things will be better tomorrow. That or I’m just going to move in to my local Starbucks and call it good.