Malkazine #6 (VEKN Malkavian Newsletter July 2003) The 'Zine of Malkav #6 July 2003 may contain peanuts Antique Rosewood Table of Contents: 1. Introduction 2. Fiction (or is it?) 3. V:TES stuff 4. Et Cetera & So Forth 5. To Be Continued ______________________________ 1. Introduction ______________________________ Greetings, salutations, and some such. This month's newsletter features a deck for someone who wants to get their feet wet with Dementation or just enjoys a balanced Malkavian deck (as opposed to the lopsided Sneak & Bleeders). I also take a look at the differences between your everyday Guns and the rarely-seen Big Guns. And, as usual, Waldo is back in the next chapter in the Fiction section. Enjoy! And feel free to post comments or send email. -Timmy Merrill, Editor ______________________________ 2. Fiction (or is it?) ______________________________ Chapter 6: Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire "You'd better find a place soon," Brian said to the van's driver, Todd, "the sky's looking awfully... blue!" Waldo looked up at where the roof of the van used to be before one of the Nosferatu had torn it off like a peel off a banana. He could still see pinpricks of stars up in the twilight sky. He glanced out the window on his left. The eastern sky was beginning to brighten. The color reminded him of a faded denium jacket after many years of use. No wonder the Brujah favored leather jackets; immortals would do well to wear durable clothing. "I haven't seen it in more than twenty years." Brian mused, half to himself, looking out the hole in the roof. "Seen what?" Todd asked, keeping his eyes on the road. "The sun. I've been a vampire for almost three decades and I've almost forgotten that it ever existed." "Oh, that. I see it pretty much every day," Todd said. "Hold on, I don't believe that for a moment." Brian said, bringing his eyes over toward Todd. "All you do all day long is lie on that couch and watch television." "That's right, I see it on TV." "Well, it's not the same thing," Brian said and looked back up to the sky. "No. It isn't." ----------------- "5:42" Brian announced. At least the clock on the dashboard still worked. The rest of the car seemed to be slowly falling apart. "I think sunrise is sometime around six." "We've got plenty of time," Todd said. "My studio is just up this street. I've got all the windows painted black there, but you'll have to make due with sleeping on the floor." The car made a exploding cough and lurched forward momentarily. "Hm, that didn't sound good." "How fast have we been moving? Twenty miles per hour?" Brian asked. "Ha! Try ten!" Waldo shouted from the rear of the van. "Hey, it's not my fault!" Todd exclaimed as the car lurched once more. "The axel might have been bent or something. Who knows what they did to my poor car!" "5:45," Brian said, now the unofficial time-keeper. "Cool it. We've got plenty of time, even at this speed." "How do you guys know that the sun will even hurt us?" Waldo asked. "I mean, I just sort of took it as a given after watching Dracula and Monster Squad." "My sire told me never to never go out from dusk 'til dawn unless I wanted to burn alive. He said it with such cold seriousness that it must be true." Brian said. There was a short pause. "I know it from personal experience," Todd said. "I probably wasn't even a year into my unlife when I tried. I thought a quick peek out the window wouldn't do any harm. It seared my face and burned my retinas out for several weeks." Then, as an afterthought: "I listened to a lot of Mozart during that time." "5:50," Brian announced. "Just a few more blocks to go," Todd assurred him. "We could probably get out and walk there faster than this," Waldo said impatiently. Todd turned toward Brian, "Why is he sitting in the back?" "Just in case," Brian responded. "What do you mean?" "Wait, let me say it the way he does." Brian narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Todd, shifted his eyes back and forth, and then said "Just in case," once more in a paranoid tone. "Ah, I see..." "Are you two talking about me up there?" Waldo shouted. "Yes," Brian shouted back, "we were trying to conspire how best to summon the Antedeluvians so they could eat you." "I figured as much," Waldo snorted. "Malkavians are a sad bunch," Todd muttered. "How many Malkavians have you met?" Brian asked. Todd glanced at Brian and smiled subtley, "Oh, one or two." The car lurched one final time and made a loud popping noise, then stopped dead in its tracks. "Don't do this to me! Not now! Come on, get going!" Todd alternated pushing pedals, pulling levers, and slapping the steering wheel, but to no avail. "5:55," Brian groaned. "I've had enough of this. I'm walking." Waldo slid the side door open and it fell off. He climbed out and started trudging up the road. "What about my car?!" Brian shouted after him. He looked over to see Brian following Waldo. "Hey, wait for me!" He got out, leaving the keys in the ignition and abandoned the car where it stood. ----------------- "Ow, it's starting to sting!" Waldo said and pulled his jacket up over his head to block the faint sunlight. "It's getting hard to see," Todd said, squinting, "I think that's it over there, across the street. At least I hope so, all these buildings look the same in this light." "I once saw a vampire on a movie explode after getting staked and dragged into the sunlight. Do you think that would happen for real?" Waldo asked, hurrying after Todd. "I'm not planning on finding out," Brian said. The three moved onto the doorstep of Todd's studio building. They crammed themselves into the alcove as best they could, using the overhang to shield them better from the early sunlight. "Yikes, it burns!" Waldo shouted and retreated completely into his jacket like a turtle. "Hey, yeah, hurry up Todd! For as fast as you can move, you still don't have this door open." Todd was fishing through his pockets looking for the keys. "Heh, yeah... hey, guys, wanna hear something funny?" No response. "I don't have the keys." "You are a complete idiot!" Brian bellowed. "You guys are on your own, I'm going down the first manhole I see!" He turned around and started to leave the alcove, then shouted out an expletive and leaped back into the shade. "It's like a furnace out there!" Waldo peeked out from his jacket and saw Brian's skin had reddened as if he had instantly aquired a sunburn. "I hope I explode," Waldo stated. "And someone gets it on video tape. That would be hilarious." "No one's going to explode," Brian growled. He turned his shoulder toward the door. Todd had just enough time to get out of the way as Brian slammed into the door and knocked it off it's hinges and splintered into several smaller doors. "Oops, just a little too hard, I think." Waldo didn't comment, he rushed inside and was followed by the other two. "Upstairs," Todd said as he stumbled his way forward. Once upstairs, Brian looked around at the junk yard Todd called his "art studio." He saw the digital clock with the papers piled haphazardly on top of it. "6:03," he said and chuckled. All three collasped onto various garbage-covered furniture and slept the sleep of the dead. ______________________________ 3. V:TES Stuff ______________________________ Featured Deck Deck Name: Fun with Demented Malks Date Created: June 25th 2003 Created By: Timmy Merrill Description: This deck focuses on using the three Clan Disciplines of the Group 2-3 Malkavians. Because it doesn't focus heavily on bleeding, it leans toward a toolbox style, which can be adventageous when you don't want to be singled out as the "Table Threat". The Crypt is Storyline Tournement compatible with 75% Malkavian and 25% Malkavian Antitribu. [Crypt: 12 vampires] 1. Anatole, Prophet of Gehenna [dom] [for] [AUS] [DEM] [OBF] (+1 Intercept, 8 Capacity) 2. Jason, The World's Voice [for] [AUS] [DEM] [OBF] (Primogen, 8 Capacity) 3. Quentin King III [cel] [pre] [AUS] [DEM] [OBF] (Advanced, 7 Capacity) 4. Quentin King III [obf] [pre] [AUS] DEM] (Prince of Boston, 7 Capacity) 5. Korah [ani] [AUS] [DEM] [OBF] (Priscus, 7 Capacity Malkavian Antitribu) 6. Dr. Douglas Netchurch [dem] [dom] [AUS] [OBF] (6 Capacity) 7. Tony [dom] [obf] [AUS] [DEM] (6 Capacity) 8. Dolphin Black [AUS] [DEM] [OBF] (6 Capacity Malkavian Antitribu) 9. Persia, The Beautiful Statue [aus] [obf] [DEM] (5 Capacity) 10. Adelaide Davis [aus] [dem] [obf] (4 Capacity) 11. Claven [aus] [dem] [obf] (4 Capacity Malkavian Antitribu) 12. Jeremy Talbot [dem] [obf] (4 Capacity) [Library: 90] [Masters: 15] Asylum Hunting Ground The Barrens Blood Doll x4 Dreams of the Sphinx Fragment of the Book of Nod Game of Malkav Malkavian Prank Minion Tap Powerbase Chicago The Rack Storage Annex x2 [Actions: 18] Arson Blessing of Chaos Derange IR Goggles Ivory Bow Kindred Spirits x2 Laptop Computer Leather Jacket x2 Madman's Quill x2 Saturday Night Special x2 Sawed-Off Shotgun x2 Sport Bike Total Insanity [Reactions: 20] Eagle's Sight x2 Enhanced Senses x2 Fast Reactions Forced Awakening x2 My Enemy's Enemy Precognition x2 Spirit's Touch x2 Telepathic Misdirection x4 Wake with Evening's Freshness x4 [Action Modifiers: 19] Cloak the Gathering x2 Confusion x2 Deny x2 Eyes of Chaos x2 Faceless Night x2 Hidden Lurker Lost in Crowds x2 Mind Tricks x2 Spying Mission x2 Swallowed by the Night x2 [Combat 18] Aura Reading x2 Coma x2 Lucky Blow x4 Primal Instincts Read Intentions x3 Taste of Vitae x2 Vanish from Mind's Eye x4 How to play this deck: Use Derange on your Predator to slow his offense. Use Mad Man's Quill at superior on your Prey's vampire for long-term bleed bonuses. If he burns it, you'll have a second one for back up. If it isn't burned you can use the spare Quill at inferior for a +2 bleed action. Discard any intercept if it is clogging your hand (that's what the Aura Readings are for, as well as many of the Master cards). Use stealth modifiers freely to get them out of your hand; you've got combat should you happen to be blocked every so often. So use those Action Modifiers and get more Combat into your hand! Playtest Notes: After using this deck, I found the Lucky Blows to be more useful than the Comas. The amount of intercept in my deck worked quite well, but I also happened to have a Nosferatu political deck for a Predator. Using Lucky Blow and Vanish from Mind's Eye at superior, I was able to send a vampire of his to torpor, then brought out a couple of Sawed-Off's to menace him the rest of the game. It was very fortunate I was not a big bleeder because I had an Assimite for a Prey. Okay, it wasn't a heavy rusher anyway, but there was a contract on Korah as if to say "I rush the moment you bleed." Eventually I was ousted by my Grand-Predator-Turned-New-Predator after he sent everyone but Jeremy Talbot to Torpor and I was left helpless. He and the Assimites struggled a bit, but after gaining 12 pool it was pretty much a hopeless task for the assassins. Conclusion: The deck did what it sought to do. Perhaps it could have even won...had my Grand Predator not been ignored by the table until it was too late. ------------------ Topic: Big Guns I have to be honest with you. I like Disguised Weapon. It's great fun to pull out an Improvised Flamethrower or .44 Magnum and blast away at someone who previously thought they had an easy target. I like to prove that Malkavians don't go down without a fight! However, because of this I've noticed that, for the most part, whenever I use Disguised Weapons it's usually with a .44 Magnum, a Sawed-off Shotgun, an Improvised Flamethrower, or an Ivory Bow. Sometimes I'll use Flamethrowers, just to act big and nasty, but 4 Pool is quite a hefty price most of the time. I queried myself: "Why don't I ever use Assault Rifles, Submachine Guns, or even Combat Shotguns?" The answer was sadly simple. After 2 Pool, weapons just stop becoming worthwhile. Not just because of their Pool cost, no no no no no no no. It's because they actually become an inferior weapon in relation to Pool cost. Let me explain. You have your most basic gun, the Saturday Night Special. 1R with an optional Maneuver, 1 Pool. Pretty handy, very affordable. Then you have the next step up, the .44 Magnum. 2R with an optional Maneuver, 2 Pool. Also pretty good. For an extra Pool you'll be doing an additional point of damage (very effective with Celerity). It would make sense that the next weapon, Submachine Gun, should do 3R with an optional Maneuver and cost 3... but somewhere along the line it shifts up a Pool cost to 4. On top of that, you have the Assault Rifle, 4R with an optional Maneuver and it costs 5! So, say the cards were made with balance in mind, that if you want the big damage you have to spend a little more. I disagree with that. As with big vampires, you should be getting a benefit when spending large pool into one resource. I mean, Canine Hoards and Shattering Blow are commons! They can even hit with First Strike. Fast Hands will turn your big guns against you. Drawing Out the Beast prevents you from using Equipment for the duration of combat. Fortitude can shrug off an RPG Launcher. Heck, even Auspex can Dodge and Thaumaturgy has Blood Rage, Blood Fury, and Soul Burn. Oh, and this is, of course, ignoring "Strike: Combat Ends" completely. Is there any wonder why Big Guns aren't used regularly (even with help from Black Cat, Horrid Reality, and Bauble)? But what if there was suddenly an errata issued by White Wolf, reducing the cost of Submachine Gun and Assault Rifle by 1 Pool? Would we see them played more often? I suspect you might see Submachine Gun cropping up, especially with Toreador. I'm still not sure about Assault Rifle. What impact would this have? Not much. As it is, a minion with superior Celerity and a .44 can get at least 6 damage with a Blur and no Ammo. With Ammo you do much more (Manstopper Round for 9, Glaser Rounds for 10, Dragon Breath Rounds for 6+2 agg; more with Joaquina Murietta). And, to tell the truth, 6 damage is usually enough to send any opposing vampire to torpor (provided they do nothing to stop it). Sure, an Assault Rifle would be much more useful against the older vamps, but 12 damage is overkill even for full Inner Circle Members. Then again, even basic Blur with a Saturday Night Special is sufficient to take out an IC Member after it's been Minion Tapped down to 1. I guess you could consider this a complaint, or maybe a plea. I'm pretty much against unnecessary errata and reprintings, but I'm always happy when I see new "fixed" versions of old cards (Gas-Powered Chainsaw). It would not upset me in the least if we saw the Gas-Powered version of Submachine Gun and Assault Rifle. Until then, I'll make do with .44 Magnums and Sawed-off Shotguns. ______________________________ 4. Et Cetera & So Forth ______________________________ I was at the arcade today. There was a punching bag machine that measured your punching strength. I punched it. I would tell you what my punching strength was, but I think it was broken. Well, it started at 240 pounds and spun like a clock to about 150. If you suppose that everything else functioned properly, and that it was suppose to start right about 300 pounds (the highest number) that I punch at approximately 300 - 240 + 150 = 210 pounds. But I don't know if that's any good. And, relatively speaking, it could be very good, laughably bad, or so-so. So, what's my point? My point is that this is the "Et Cetera & So Forth" section. There doesn't have to be a point here. Redeoculation. I started up a game of Vampire: The Masquerade. See, I'm one of those backward people now. I started playing the RPG because of the CCG instead of the other way around. It's not terribly serious, and I suspect it will become more comical as time progresses. I suppose that's what you get when your Storyteller plays too many Malkavian decks. ;) Right now, the party is a pack of Sabbat that infiltrated a small Tremere chantry (yes, I like to take a lot of inspiration from the CCG since all my players also play VTES). It ended in much mutilation and various explosions. Just the way I like it! ______________________________ 5. To Be Continued ______________________________ I hope you enjoyed this issue of the Malkavian Newsletter. Please come back soon. Please send any comments, questions, articles, salacious offerings, humerous anecdotes, deck ideas, exploding or mutilated Tremere, and/or pita bread sandwhiches to: Timmy@e-garfield.com Signing off, -t!MmY, the mad !nker This newsletter was written by a ficticious person in a ficticious plane of existence. Any resemblences to any real persons or planes of existences is coincidential and utterly mpossible. This newsletter may be archived, transmitted, stored, eaten, or copied in any way you wish as long as it is kept in its entirety.