MALK & KOOKIES Vol.1 Iss.5.386666 I couldn’t stop them. They wanted more airtime this month... -Mike IN THIS ISSUE: DIRTY FILTHY NASTY DIRTY & FILTHY FILTHY & NASTY DIRTY & NASTY NIRTY& DILTHY & FASTY HOW TO TEACH AN OLD GANGREL NEW TRICKS HOW TO EMBARRASS YOUR COUNTRY AT THE OLYMPICS DIRTY: By Didi Meyers Command of the Beast at superior is dirty. It’s a +1 Bleed modifier that allows you to play another bleed modifier after. I like it. It’s dirty. FILTHY: By Zebulon Mask of a Thousand Faces is filthy. It’s an action modifier played by another minion you control that untaps the previous minion and continues the action with this newer, better minion and at superior adds +1 stealth. I like it. It’s filthy. NASTY: By Mariel, Lady Thunder By playing Mask of a Thousand Faces, another minion begins the action where the previous minion left off. This means, unless prohibited by card text, the new minion may play another copy of an action modifier that has already modified the action (been played). I like it. It’s nasty. DIRTY & FILTHY: By Gilbert Duane Using Mask as previously discussed makes it possible for you to pump your stealth even higher. It also makes it possible to pump the bleed, using Command of the Beast. Each minion with superior Dominate who contributes to the Multi-Mask action can play a Command of the Beast, as long as some stupid knucklehead doesn’t play something like Bonding or Conditioning, etc. Save these for the kooo de graaah (Gilbert’s spelling, not mine. -ed.) FILTHY & NASTY: By Roxanne, Rectrix of the 13th Floor Try and see how many sick ways you can do this. DIRTY & NASTY: By Ayalea (special guest) See if you can make it even sicker with other clans or disciplines. Such as multiple Weather Controls, Shadow Body, Mask, Repeat and ask your prey if they want to try it again... NIRTY& DILTHY & FASTY By Lucian Post nasties please. Do it. HOW TO TEACH AN OLD GANGREL NEW TRICKS By Sylvester Simms Get Basilia or Wynn. Take an action that your prey will have to block. When a block attempt is made, play Dawn Operation. In combat, play Drawing out the Beast, enough to send the blocker to torpor. Then play Form of Mist as a strike. If they block again, mask over to the other one and enter combat. You can Form of Mist again. That’s 2 of their minions in torpor and one tapped minion on your team. Just don’t do it to me. I really hate torpor. I mean it, I will be really, REALLY mad. I’ll sick Orange Julius on your ass!!! HOW TO EMBARRASS YOUR COUNTRY AT THE OLYMPICS By Dr. Jest 1. In Track and Field - Cover yourself in body paint with a design that looks just like your country’s flag. Only wear a Speedo. Also wear a big Foam #1 Finger. Oh yeah, wear gold chains while you run. 2. In Swimming - Fill your Speedo with a mysterious brown powder. Coat your body with a flesh colored powder. Swim the race as usual. Make sure you set your VCR to record this event so you can listen to the commentary. 3. In Gymnastics - Fall and trip and smash various appendages into the ground, horse, vault, beam, or whatever is handy; then go home without any medals. 4. In Badminton - Laugh like Beavis and Butthead whenever someone mentions "shuttlecock". Try to get people to say, "shuttlecock" as much as possible. Also rub your shorts when they say it. Laugh and slap yourself in the head repeatedly when they start escorting you out of the arena. Take drugs. Whine about it when they kick you out.