Malk & Kookies Vol.1 Iss.6.66 October Apology These DAMN Malkavians would not put out an issue during October. Guess what their reasoning was. "Religious Holiday". And the whole Issue number being 6.66 and all, well, we had some infighting in the offices. The only Malkavians that contributed this month were Normal and Ozmo. So, for lack of anything better, here they are. Maybe mid November, the whole team will come together. Until then, I’m hiding under a desk hoping that Ozmo runs out of steam. IN THIS ISSUE: HOW TO LIVE ON .01 LITERS A NIGHT WHY I HATE NORMAL HOW TO LIVE ON .01 LITERS A NIGHT By Normal Man, it’s so tough being rough and stuff when the roof is on fire and we don ’t need no watermelons to let the walls come down. Man, I heard some poetry from Creed the other night that really said it all. "With arms wide open, under the sunlight, I’ll take you to this place, I’ll show you everything." Even though it doesn’t rhyme and most people gnash their teeth when they hear this "shitty" line repeated throughout the song, it’s beautiful. I actually went to their concert this summer. And the lead singer said, before one of the songs, that "sometimes things seem so superficial on the outside" and man, that spoke to me like Kurt used to. I was talking to Mario G. about maybe speaking to Kurt Cobain for me, ‘cuz he could do it, right? But he tore a signpost off the freeway and smacked the shit outta my face. I just woke up. What’s up? WHY I HATE NORMAL By Ozmo Remind me to send Mario Giovanni that bus full of schoolchildren I kidnapped last month. They’re about ripe. Let’s just take a look at Normal’s bullshit, shall we? "Sometimes things seem so superficial on the outside?" Did the Creed dumbass also say, "sometimes things seem so bright when the light’s on?" Or how about, "Sometimes things seem so black when it’s dark?" Or even, "Sometimes things seems so circular when they’re on a wheel?" "Sometimes things seem so obvious when they’re obviously things." KILL NORMAL. No one listens to me. I beg our beloved Lucian to put Normal on the Red List. Lucian asks me, "What are his crimes?" and I say, "Existence." But does Lucian listen to me? NO. He smirks at me and sets Mike’s couch on fire. Times like these, I think about the Sabbat and how they deal with this stuff. Yorik just laughs and says, "Why do you think we left the Camarilla?" Bastard. Tickle me +1. -- Mike Ooi Insane Prince of Houston, TX Home of the functionally-named Houston Texans NFL Team shang@texas.net