THE CAITIFF PICAYUNE VOL. 1 ISS. 1 WELCOME to the first issue of the Caitiff Picayune! It's a wonderful time to be unaffiliated with so-called "Clans" or "Bloodlines", as more and more Methuselahs (and we know they're out there) try desperately to exert influence on the so-called "Independents". WE ARE TRULY INDEPENDENT. WE ARE TRULY FREE. In fact, I heard from a Pander the other day that even the "Antedeluvian" progenitors of these so-called "Independent" clans can be puppets for mere Methuselahs. Hell, we've even heard about Leandro mastering the art of Dominate and Mind Raping stupid old Augustus Giovanni. Even made him prance around like a Malkavian. And that's not even talking about good ol' Arika convincing the Kindred world to Protect Thine Own and send Sutekh, more commonly known as freaking SET, up in a pillar of flames. FREAKIN' SET, for SET's sake! What's next? Followers of Igo the Hungry? Would they be Igites? Ijits, more likely. So welcome to our first issue and our first editorial, followed by our first counter-point. Enjoy. -Dan Murdock COUNTER-POINT -by Smudge The Ignored (but not for long) BLAH BLAH BLAH WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE A FREAKING MALKAVIAN BITCH, MURDOCK, SO LAY OFF THE 'FREE' BULLSHIT. All this freedom is great until some Prince fries your ass in the name of upholding "Tradition". Let's separate the bullshit from the shit. WE ARE TRULY INDEPENDENT = WE ARE TRULY INCOHERENT. That's why we're at the bottom of a Methuselah's list of lackeys, unless you count those Elders who play at being Methuselahs by controlling Kindred of the 12th generation and higher. Those "Methuselahs" are pussies with no idea of what the Jyhad is truly all about. They seek to crush their foes quickly without realizing that once their enemies are gone, they feed on themselves until there is nothing left but Oblivion. Masters of Masturbation. Rulers of Nothing. WE ARE TRULY FREE = WE ARE TRULY PATHETIC. I won't even spare myself for the sake of vanity. The only reason I know I am Kindred is because I drink blood and don't die. Where are my gifts? Remember Franciscus? Some Potence monster got a hold of him and he popped like a fucking balloon. One hit to the chest. And some of our Pander "brethren" are even worse. Rex the Necronomist pisses blood down his leg at the slightest hint of combat. I've seen him empty his insides against a MORTAL. Face it, the reason we are left alone is because we have little of value. Only our numbers. The Independent Clans are not weak. You'd never see an Assamite's noose pop your top like a champagne cork. A Ravnos would make you think it was a Hawaiian lei. Don't even think about resting in piece with a Giovanni lurking around. Granted, the right Prince could bend them over backwards in terms of ability and resource management, but do you realize how much effort a Setite would need to make you their bitch? None at all. DECK OF THE MONTH "Getting wha trr5 57 5 6 hdh w3 THIS PUBLICATION WILL CEASE BY ORDER OF THE PRINCE