Matt Green's V:TES: The 1970s 'Bad Porno' Expansion You know, as I was reading the group this morning I came across the posts from usenet spammers about free pictures of an adult nature (presumabley not polaroids of people filing in their tax returns, or boggling at the price of childrens' shoes either). Then the thought came to me that seeing as how porn is the only way to make money from the internet, it must be possible to reverse engineer it to the CCG market.... V:TES: The 1970s 'Bad Porno' Expansion Vampires: Big Daddy Brujah. (10) Prince of Downtown POT, PRE, DOM, chi -Big Daddy may put a pimp counter on any female vampire as a D action. If the number of pimp counters on a vampire exceeds her current blood, gain conrol of that vampire. During your master phase move one blood from a pimped vampire to Big Daddy. Busty McGarrel Toreador. (2) PRE -The player controlling Busty must burn 3 pool if male and caught looking at the picture for too long. Tommy 'The Flange' Jones Gangrel. (7) Primogen FOR, ANI -If John is in combat with a female vampire he may use potence cards at superior level and inflicts 3 damage as a strike. This is not considered a hand strike. Horse Nosferatu. (3) ANI - Damage inflicted to Horse by Potence strikes is reduced to zero. Guisepe the Italian Giovanni. (7) DOM, POT -Guisepe can take control of a female vampire as a +1 stealth D action. He gains an exhaustion counter. Guisepe does not untap as normal during your next untap phase if he has any exhaustion counters. Instead, burn an exhaustion counter. 'Big' John Tremere (5) VIS, tha -'Big' John can take an action to put a Wake with Evening's Freshness into play. Treat it as if it were in your hand. Play it only on 'Big' John. Strange Uncle Tom Ventrue. (9) Prince of conservative middle-England PRE, OBF, OBT, dom -Tom gets +4 stealth on Bums Rush actions. Burn Tom if he ever becomes the target of an Incriminating Video Tape. Libray Cards: OH! It's so BIIIG! Action (1) Increase your hand size by 3 for the remainder of the turn. Wokka-ja-wokka Soundtrack Equipment (2) The minion with Wokka-ja-wokka Soundtrack may take an action to search your library for a Leather Jacket and equpip it as normal. Shuffle your library afterwards. Stilletto Heels Equpiment Male vampires with Stilletto Heels may not maneuver in combat. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Some additional cards from Matthew Bennett Crusty O'Shea Tzimisce (4) DEM vis Minions in combat with Crusty may not maneuver to close range or press to continue combat. Mortals in combat with Crusty lose 1 life each round. Crusty gets -1 stealth when hunting. Gas-Powered Vibrator Equipment 1 pool During your untap phase, the minion with this equipment takes 1 damage. The minion with this equipment cannot play strike cards in combat. As a (D) action, any minion may steal Gas-Powered Vibrator. 'Home-Made' Videotape Equipment 0 pool The minion with this equipment has +2 stealth on all actions. If combat occurs, send the vampire with this equipment to torpor; if not a vampire, burn the minion. Fluff Girl Retainer with 1 life 2 blood Presence required The vampire with this retainer may play strike cards only usable after the first round of combat during any round. They may not press to continue combat. The Yeast Within Combat Playable only as combat ends vic: If this vampire has inflicted at least one damage at close range this combat, remove 1 blood from the opposing vampire and send them to torpor. VIC: As above, but put this card on the opposing vampire. They lose one blood during their Methuselah's untap phase, and that Methuselah may play this card as if it were in his hand, with no disciplines required. Going The Distance Combat for: Press, only usable to continue combat. FOR: Press, only usable to continue combat, with 3 optional extra strikes. Convincing Sapphic Display Master: out-of-turn 2 pool Playable only when two female vampires are in combat, before range is chosen. That combat ends. Tap all male vampires. Stash Uncovered Master Put this card on a ready male vampire. If that vampire enters combat with an older female vampire of the same clan, he does no damage for the entire combat and the female vampire gains 15 additional strikes, only usable with hand damage. Pete's Porno Parlour Master: unique location 1 pool During your master phase, you may search your library for an Imported Magazine or a Gas-Powered Vibrator and put it in your hand. Wash your hands afterwards. Room of Hefner III Master 3 pool Put this card on a male vampire in your ready region. Whenever that vampire enters combat with a female minion, search your library for 'Home-Made' Videotape or The Yeast Within and put it on that minion when combat ends. AIDS From Bats Action modifier Playable only on a hunting vampire. ani: Search your library for a Vampiric Disease card and put it on this vampire. ANI: Search another Methuselah's library for an Aid From Bats card and change it to say 'AIDS From Bats'. Casting Couch Master: location 2 pool Tap this card to search your crypt for a female vampire and put it in your uninfluenced region. If a female vampire attempts to bleed you, you may cancel that action and gain control of that vampire if you pay 3 pool. Film Contract Action If this action is successful, put this card on the acting vampire. As a (D) action, the vampire with this card may steal 2 pool from any Methuselah with a Casting Couch or 2 blood from the Prince of Downtown. If that happens, burn this card. Profane Library Equipment Requires a ready Toreador antitribu This equipment counts as a location while in play. The vampire with this location may tap all other ready Toreador antitribu as a +1 stealth action. Health Checkup Action (D) Choose a Methuselah. If any vampires they control have Vampiric Disease or The Yeast Within, remove those cards and that Methuselah burns 2 pool, and vampires that Methuselah controls may not perform Film Contracts or become the Prince of Downtown for the rest of the game. Blown Sewer Lid Combat pro: Cancels the effect of the opposing vampire's Thrown Sewer Lid. PRO: As above, but this vampire gains an additional strike which has the effect of Thrown Sewer Lid. Specialist Video Equipment Requires animalism and a Casting Couch If this vampire is in combat with a !Gangrel or !Nosferatu, you may burn this equipment to end combat. Banner of Promiscuity Master 1 pool Put this card on a female vampire. She gets -2 bleed. Burn this card if she plays a Strike: Combat Ends when in combat with a male vampire. Showerbase: Downtown Master: location During your master phase, you may remove all exhaustion counters from a ready vampire you control. Your Behind! Reaction dom: If the acting vampire is attempting to play a Film Contract, they burn 1 blood if successful. DOM: As above, but they burn 2 blood and gain an exhaustion counter. Inbase Dungeon, Frankfurt Equipment 3 blood This equipment counts as a location while in play. Whenever the vampire with this location plays a Trap, the opposing vampire takes 1 damage at the beginning of every round and may not play strike cards. Back-Alley Brothel Master: location 1 pool Requires a ready Giovanni If a ghoul or Sabbat vampire attempts to bleed you, you may tap this card to cancel that bleed. That minion gains an exhaustion counter. Free Sites Rant pre: +1 stealth. If this action is successful, tap all minions controlled by the Methuselah who has Information Highway. PRE: As above, but put this card in play. Minions with Laptop Computers get -1 bleed instead of +1 bleed. This card may be burned with a Computer Hacking action. Loyal Street Walker Ally 1 pool Mortal with 1 life, 0 strength, 0 bleed Loyal Street Walker may strike to end combat once each round. Loyal Street Walker gets +1 intercept when attempting to block Nosferatu. Lucretia, Drag Queen Toreador antitribu Capacity 7 PRE CHI obf Lucretia counts as both a male and a female vampire. Lucretia gets +1 stealth when attempting to equip Stiletto Heels. Shaft Brujah Capacity 3 PRE pot Shaft! wikky wikky wikky wikky Shaft! Millicent Smythe, Puritan Pornography Hunter Unique Master. At the end of your turn, your predator takes control of Millicent. If the Methuselah controlling Millicent has any of his or her acting vampire's actions blocked, that vampire goes to jail. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Eric Freeman added this one Silicone Implants Equipment cost 2 blood only useable by a female vampire, Male vampires in combat with this Vampire may not maneuver to long range This vampire gains first strike vs Male vampires if Silicone Implants is destroyed by a strike requiring potence this minion takes one aggravated damage damage not preventable. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ James Coupe added this one Lust in Crowds Dementation Reaction dem: The acting male minion gets -1 stealth as they are forced to walk with a pile of books in front of their trousers. DEM: Cancel the current action (any cards played are burned); the acting minion must quickly find the nearest private area to, erm, "recover". ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Some additional cards from Gene Wirchenko Lust in Crowds Action Requires Obfuscate Inferior: Rub up against another minion. This action may not be blocked. Damage to target minion is limited to one per combat round. Superior: As with Inferior but the damage limit is two per round, and put an exhaustion counter on acting minion when combat ends. Maneuvers in the Dark Combat Requires Obfuscate Inferior: Press. Superior: Press. No further press cards may be played. Place an exhaustion counter on the minion playing this card. [Guisepe rules on exhaustion counters.] Pants Around Ankles Action Modifier or Combat [Which is it?] Press (only usable to continue combat). Red Hot, Pitch Black Video Location Unique Tap to give +1 stealth to any attempt to block destroying a video of any sort. [Incriminating Videotape, 'Home-Made' Video, etc.] "It's those blasted amateurs that are ruining the business for the rest of us." -- Proprietor Bump and Grind Action Basic: Select two minions. Tap them. Place one exhaustion counter on each target minion. Superior: As per inferior, but two counters each. Praxis Seizure: Downtown [as per other Praxis Seizure cards] Camarilla Sleazebag Political +1 stealth [same effect as Camarilla Exemplary but for the opposite reason] "Eww! Gross! I don't want any of that on me!" -- Would-Be Blocker Think of the Children! Action Burn target Porno Expansion Set card as a Directed Action. Pimp the Pander Kindred, Pander 2 capacity, obf, dom Jojo "Black Magic" Kindred, Tremere 4 capacity, THA, for, aus Jojo is immune to exhaustion counters. Is that all? Action (1) Decrase target Metheselah's card size by one. This card may be burned as a direct action at +1 stealth. Taxicab Combat Requires Celerity Maneuver to long range or press to end combat. Soft Focus Combat Requires Obfuscation [or Obtenebration?] No strikes this combat round do damage. Optional press to continue. Deep Throat Action Target kindred is busy and does not untap as usual during the untap phase. This card may be burned as a direct action at +1 stealth. Royally Screwed Action (3) Put three exhaustion counters on a kindred or ally. [These counters are handled the same as Guisepe handles his.] Porn Raid Action (3) Target kindred is implicated in a porno raid. Put a number of target counters equal to blood capacity minus current blood on the vampire. While the target vampire has any target counters, if he performs any actions (except compulsory hunting), he may be attacked as a direct action until the controller's next turn. During untap phase, remove one target counter. Snuff Movie Action 1 Attack a minion as a Directed Action. If the target minion has any exhaustion counters, burn it. Porn Queen [Fame by another name] Top Heavy Action Target female vampire gains two capacity, but may no longer wear stiletto heels. If she is doing so when this card resolves, she burns two blood. This card may be burned as a Directed Action. [Multiple copies of this card may be played on a vampire, and the capacity effects are cumulative.] Red Light Special Action Bleed +3. If the bleed does not happen or is reduced to 0 or less, burn the active vampire. Raincoat Equipment Raincoat prevents one point of unaggravated damage per combat. Raincoat may not be worn with any other clothing items. ["Clothing" would have to be defined.] Cheap and Sleazy Master 2 Discard your entire hand to the ashheap. Select a new hand from your choice of library cards. Reshuffle your library. You do not get a minion phase this turn. Only one Cheap and Sleazy may be played per game. Tsk, Tsk! Master Out-of-turn The Porn Expansion master card just played has no effect. The target player must pay twice the pool cost it would have cost except that zero-cost master cards will cost two. "Uh, uh, uh, uh, uhhhh! Naughty, naughty!" -- Mrs. Grundy Hey, Big Boy! Combat Minion attempting to block gets -1 intercept. "Huh? Me?" WHACK! [This may require a minor rules adjustment so that this results in stealth exceeding intercept that no further stealth cards may be played until that is no longer so.] Loud Zipper Combat Active minion gets -1 stealth. [This may require a minor rules adjustment so that this results in intercept equaling or exceeding stealth than no further intercept cards may be played until that is no longer so.]