Malkazine #5 June 2003 Dolby Surround where available _______________ Coffee Table of Contents: 1. Introduction 2. Fiction (or is it?) 3. V:TES stuff 4. Et Cetera & So Forth 5. To Be Continued ______________________________ 1. Introduction ______________________________ It's June! We have the Anarchs expansion behind us and The Black Hand before us. Then there's the next storyline tournement "Lambach's Legion". I really enjoyed attending the last storyline tournement "The Eye of Hazimel". The storyline background enriches what is usually otherwise just competative play and Lambach's Legion continues on where The Eye of Hazimel left off. The Tzimisce now have control of the Eye of Hazimel, but is this necessarily a good thing? For all the power that The Eye gives its possssor, what horrid repercussions come from exposing yourself to its will? And what of the old and powerful vampires that wouldn't like anything better than to pluck the eye from your mutilated corpse and take it for themselves? During each storyline tournement, we players of V:TES will take on the role of some of the oldest, most influential, and most powerful vampires still active in the eternal struggle. As Methuselahs we'll get the opportunity to manipulate those of weaker blood like pawns on a chess board. They'll bend to our will and work toward our main goal: to take down the other Methuselahs who stand in our way. Will Lambach succeed in his twisted plans? If not, who will it be who destroys him and his martial legion of fledgling vampires? This is the eternal struggle. This is the great Jyhad. ______________________________ 2. Fiction (or is it?) ______________________________ Brian stopped in his tracks, both he and Waldo remained at the foot of the cellar steps straining to hear what was going on upstairs. The only sounds came from Todd's television until a threatening voice bellowed out, "Tell us where the Malkavian is or I'll crush your skull with my bare hands." The voice made Waldo visibly shake. "Don't worry," Brian whispered to him, "Todd won't give us away. He's steadfastly loyal to his friends." Upstairs Todd's voice rang out, "I'll tell you anything! Don't hurt me!" "Then tell us! Tell us now!" There was a pause. "Quit watching that television or I'll burn your flesh to cinders!" "Hold on, Buffy's about to kick some butt." A terrible snarl went through the air followed by a horrible crash and several other loud noises. "My TV!" Todd wailed. "You broke my only friend! I'll kill you!" Brian pulled on Waldo's arm. "Come on," he whispered sharpely. "Where are we going to go?" Waldo whispered back, "We're stuck in a cellar." "Ha ha! Ignorant Malkavian. Don't you know that the Nosferatu always have secret passages? Follow me!" Brian moved swiftly back over to his neatly made bed and crawled underneath. "Hurry up," his voice called after Waldo. Waldo paused as he heard the sounds of screaming and complete desolution coming from upstairs. Then he quickly dove under the bed. He saw Brian disappearing into what appeared to be a tunnel dug into the wall of the cellar. Quite a clever trick. Almost as clever as the dancing dog Waldo had seen once at the circus. ------------ "Boss," one of the henchmen said, peering out through the shattered front door. "What is it?" The biggest one said, holding Todd up by the face in a clawed bowler's grip. "I thought I saw someone outside." "That's probably him!" The big one screeched and tossed Todd like a rag doll into the cluttered kitchen. He sailed through the air and slammed into the cupboards before falling to the ground. The five figures in black turned toward the door and stepped into the night, vanishing in a swirl of shadows. ------------ "Wait, what about Todd?" Waldo asked as they legged it as far from the house as they could. "He can take care of himself." "He can? Against five really nasty murderous Nosferatu that can twist streetlamps into pretzels?" "I said: 'he can take care of himself'! Now, quickly, into this dark alley." "Nuh-huh! I've already had a bad run-in with a dark alley once this night!" "Fine, then we'll stay out in the open, great strategy!." "Well it won't do us any good to... wait, do you smell that?" "What are you talking about?" Waldo started sniffing at the air, his head turning this way and that and his tongue wetting his lips. "I can smell them. They're pretty good at remaining unseen, but they can't do anything about that sewer stench." Waldo crouched behind a car and pulled Brian down beside him. "They might have seen us, what are we going to do?" "You're the one with all the ideas." The car they were hiding behind was raised into the air. "Ah ha!" one of the henchmen exclaimed, holding the car above his head. "They're over here!" Four others reappeared as they formed a semicircle around the two Malkavians. "What now, boss?" "First of all, put that car over on the other side of the street, you're getting on my nerves." "Right boss." The monster hefted the car in the indicated direction over his head and behind his back. It landed upside-down on top of another, smaller car. A car alarm went off for a few seconds, but then died out. "Now kill him," pointing at Brian, "and then torture him," pointing at Waldo. Brian and Waldo stood up, back to back, Waldo with his Lil' Soaker 200 in hand. There was a loud, long honk and headlights suddenly flooded the street. A large, black van rumbled toward them at breakneck speed. Brian pushed Waldo out of the way as the van plowed its way into the group of Nosferatu. One went over the windshield and across the top, two others were knocked to the side, and one was run down under the car. The head Nosferatu made a spectacular leap into the air, about twenty feet high and ten feet back, swiftly evading the rampaging van. "Come on!" Brian shouted and yanked Waldo along with him toward the honking van. He threw the sliding side door open and they tumbled inside. "Go!" He shouted at Todd. "I am going!" The sound of rubber sqealing against pavement was loud and rang through the air. "Trouble!" Waldo shouted, looking out the back window. There he saw that the Nosferatu that Todd had run down was back up and had grabbed the rear bumper of the car. There was a shudder and the car was lifted off its back wheels and tilted fourty-five degrees up. Brian slid the side door shut and locked it. A fist punched through the window and made a grab for him, but he fell back. "More trouble!" he shouted as the fist grabbed the door and began wrenching it off the car. A loud thump came from above and the roof dented inward a good four inches. It was followed by a fist punching a hole into it. The Nosferatu up there went about peeling the roof back like a can of sardines. "Here comes another!" Todd had time to shout before a metal bus stop pole was shoved through the driver side window, missing his neck by an inch and punching through the passanger side door. "Todd! Floor it!" Waldo shouted. The engine made a roaring noise as the rear wheels spun uselessly in the air, "It's no use!" "Keep it going!" "Well, if you have a plan, you'd better hurry!" Brian shouted. The leader of the Nosferatu had walked up to the front of the car and casually tore the hood off. He pulled it back like a giant discus, ready to throw it through the windshield at Todd. Waldo turned back to look at the Nosferatu holding the rear bumper. Its wretched, twisted face grinned sadistically at him through the window. Waldo narrowed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. The Nosferatu bared his fangs and glared, but his glare quickly turned into a wild eyed look of panic. "Leeches," Waldo mumbled. "Maggots. Worms." The Nosferatu stumbled back, dropping the car and gouging his own face. The car hit the pavement and the tires smoked as they spun against the ground. The Nosferatu on top of the car lost his balance and was thrown off the roof. As the car sped forward, it ran over the leader, crushing him under the front before barreled its way down the street. The Nosferatu stood silently staring after the escaped victims. The leader stood up and brushed his clothes off in an indignant manner. Then he roared like a beast and threw the car hood through the wall of the nearest building. "Fools!" the big Nosferatu spat. "They got away and it's almost dawn!" He glared at his group of incompetant mercenaries and then laid eyes on the one who was holding the car by the bumper until recently. "Why did you drop the car?" "That Malkavian. He made me think worms were eating me and inside my head and..." his voice was changed into gurgling as his throat was squeezed in his boss's fist. When the boss spoke, his words were slow and punctuated with force. "He made you think worms were inside your head?" The underling made gagging noises in response. "Well, maybe we should have a look?" In one quick motion the Nosferatu had his head ripped off its neck by his boss's bare, clawed hands. The body stood headless for a second, then crumpled to the asphalt. "Do any of you see worms in his head?" the leader screamed. "Do you?!" He glared around at the others who stood silently observing the spectacle. "Perhaps a closer look then?" The leader threw the head down and stamped on it with his shiney black shoe until the greasy insides were running into the rain gutters. "No? Then I suggest next time anyone gets a stupid idea in their heads, they think twice about it." ______________________________ 3. V:TES Stuff ______________________________ In issue #5, we took a quick look at some of the cards released in the Anarchs expansion that could work well for Malkavians. This month, I'd like to do a review of a few of those cards in more detail and give some opinions. Name: Jeremy Talbot Type: Vampire Clan: Malkavian Group: 3 Capacity: 4 Disciplines: [dem], [obf] Camarilla: During your untap phase, check your pool total. Jeremy gains 1 blood if your pool total is even and burns 1 blood if your pool total is odd. Now, for a small capacity vampire with two basic disciplines, you'd probably expect a really good bonus thrown in for you to pay the four influence instead of the standard three. At first glance, I thought his ability rather neutral, "okay, he'll either gain a blood or burn a blood." Kooky and rather Malkavianish, but does it merit the extra cost? After playing a couple games with Jeremy, I found that more often than not, he was gaining a blood rather than burning it. This was probably because, without considering it first, I had some cards in my deck that could change my pool total during my untap (Powerbases Washington D.C. and Chicago). Other players cards also have a chance of affecting your pool during your untap (Anarch Revolt). And let us not forget the ever useful Edge (if I happened to keep it once around the table). With all that, an Asylum Hunting Ground, some Blood Dolls, and Quentin King III's merged ability, it seemed like both my vampires and I were gaining a substantial amount of blood before I even got to my Minion Phase. Typical Turn: [I count my Pool and find it odd] "On my untap...I'll gain one from The Edge and then Jeremy gains a blood. Quentin gets one from the Hunting Ground. I'll put one on Powerbase Washington D.C. and match it from the blood bank. Take one off of Powerbase Chicago, burn a pool for your Anarch Revolt, and finally give a blood to Anatole from the bank using Quentin. Then, on my master phase...I'll take one off of Jeremy with his Blood Doll and one off of Anatole from his, then I'll give up The Edge with Victoria to gain two pool. Did I forget anything?" Another use I found for Jeremy is that he can still gain blood while in Torpor; he'll be able to rescue himself after a turn or two if you can manage your pool well. All-in-all, I think Jeremy is a nice vampire, but he should still only be a 3 capacity vampire, if only for the amount of effort you have to go through just to keep him from burning a blood on your untap. Perhaps if his conditional burning of blood was removed from his ability it would warrent the extra pool cost. I'm guessing Yorik (3 capacity [dem], [obf] Malkavian Antitribu) has something to do with this. Too many little Malkavians with [dem] and [obf] in Group 2-3 combinations could get annoying quickly (from an opponents point of view, of course). Quentin King III Type: Vampire Clan: Malkavian Level: Advanced Group: 3 Capacity: 7 Disciplines: [AUS] [DEM] [OBF] [cel] [pre] Advanced Camarilla Merged: If Quentin is ready during your untap phase, you may move 1 blood from the blood bank to a ready older vampire. Once each action, Quentin can burn 1 blood to get +1 bleed. I really don't have much to say about this vampire, he's rather straight forward in what he can do. He's got a good spread of disciplines, especially the upgraded [OBF] over his basic version. The [cel] and [pre] can be good in Malk decks looking for other discipline options. If you're not using vamps with political titles (such as in an Anarch Malkavian deck), Quentin King III Advanced is a solid card. Merging the base and advanced versions together might be unlikely unless you use multiple copies of both, but his merged ability is quite well worth it. ----------------- Featured Deck Deck Name: "'Doing What Malkavians Do Best' or: 'I Bleed, You Fry'" Date Created: June 8th, 2003 Created by: t!MmY Merrill Description: Yes, this is a "Sneak & Bleed Malkavian" deck, but it is very evil and has a bit of a combat twist to it. It suprised me at how ruthless and effective it turned out to be. CRYPT (12 Vampires, all Malkavian, Group 1-2 mix) 1. Normal [obf] 2 capcity 2. Watenda [obf] 3 capcity 3. Watenda [obf] 3 capacity 4. Zoë [AUS] [cel] [obf] 3 capacity 5. Roland Bishop [aus] [dom] [obf] 4 capacity 6. Roland Bishop [aus] [dom] [obf] 4 capacity 7. Didi Meyers [DOM] [aus] [cel] [obf] 5 capacity 8. Zebulon [OBF] [aus] [dom] [pro] 5 capacity 9. Ozmo [AUS] [dom] [obf] 6 capacity 10. Mariel, Lady Thunder Pants [DOM] [OBF] [aus] [tha] 7 capacity 11. Gilbert Duane [AUS] [DOM] [OBF] 7 capacity 12. Gregor Anderson [AUS] [OBF] [dom] [pro] 7 capacity LIBRARY (90 cards) MASTERS (15) Asylum Hunting Ground Blood Doll x3 Minion Tap x4 Rötschreck x3 Dominate x2 Obfuscate x2 ACTIONS (20) Computer Hacking x6 Govern the Unaligned x6 Ivory Bow x3 Improvised Flamethrower x3 Laptop Computer Sport Bike REACTIONS (15) Deflection x4 Spirit's Touch x4 My Enemy's Enemy Wake with Evening's Freshness x6 ACTION MODIFIERS (25) Bonding x4 Faceless Night x5 Forshadowing Destruction x6 Lost in Crowds x6 Spying Missing x4 COMBAT (10) Disguised Weapon x6 Behind You x4 COMBINATION (5) Swallowed by the Night x5 (can be played as an Action Modifier or Combat) Notes: If your Predator is doing anything at all that you don't like, don't hesitate in using intercept and aggravated damage to discourage any offense against you. From there, move on to gaining pool from superior Govern the Unaligned while sending out small bleeds to your Prey in order to get those Deflections out of his hand. Go in for the kill when your Prey is low enough in pool for an oust. ______________________________ 4. Et Cetera & So Forth ______________________________ "Bleed. Fight. Vote. A Little Goes a Long Way." One thing that I have noticed is that decks tend to be constructed with one strength in a particular area while ignoring (sometimes completely) any other strengths available to them. Take the classic Malkavian Sneak & Bleed design. Dominate is great for bleeding. Obfuscate is great for stealth. The main goal of V:TES is bringing your Prey down to at least 0 Pool, so why not go all-out bleeding with abundant stealth? Quick. Effective. Deadly. The problem is that you have to be able to deal with, or at least weather, other Methuselah's attempts at your own life. Combat, Politics, Bleed... Brainwash?! You might try to throw in a few Surprise Influences, some Read Intentions, a few wake's, some Deflections, an Enhanced Senses or two. When you try out your new and improved deck, you find your efficient bleed machine clogged with non-bleedy cards. Intercept when you need stealth! Combat when you need Conditioning! A Political Backlash, how did that get in there?! So after being ousted, you pull those cards out of your deck and go back to Governs, Conditionings, Lost in Crowds, et cetera. The next game you play, you look at your hand: a couple of Govern the Unaligned, a Conditioning, a Dominate skill card, Command of the Beast, Obedience, Lost in Crowds, Faceless Night. In play is Roland Bishop. You laugh at your prey as Roland bleeds for 7. Soon you're gathering your six Pool and your first Victoy Point. But things start going wrong. Your new Prey looks over at the empty chair between you and him, then he starts back-rushing you. Soon all your Rolands, Ozmos, and Gilberts are in Torpor. With no minions for defense, that filthy Lasombra Predator gives you the boot, and goes on to sweep the table. "Why did you do that?!" you shout at your second Prey. "You wiped out all my vampires and gave the Lasombra the game!" "You were going to bleed me out! That's the only way I can defend myself against a dirty Sneak & Bleed deck!" You pause. "Okay, you're right. But that's the only thing I can do with Obfuscate and Dominate." What do we have here? A bleeder that can't fight. A fighter that can't defend. And a Lasombra giggling as he counts out his precious pool. Some people can argue that "focused decks" are better than "toolbox decks" because they do what they were made to do and nothing else, thus getting the job done. To me, that sounds like a toaster oven, and eating toast everyday can get old quickly. But making a deck toolboxy doesn't make it any better if you can never get the cards you need when you need them. We must learn from both: we must have peanut butter on our toast one day and marmalade the next. Mmm... marmalade! When you make a deck, you should have a clear idea what it is that your deck is going to be doing to win. If it is going to be doing something other than winning, that's fine but outside the scope of this article. What you want to keep in mind is reducing your Prey's pool total to zero. After you've come up with a solid strategy: make your deck. Keep your strategy in mind and ignore any unnecessary components... and try to start off with a small deck size (it's easier to add cards than to remove them). When you're done, figure out what your deck is vulnerable to. Add in some effective counter measuers that can dissuade your opponents from taking those types of actions against you. By "counter measures" I don't necessarily mean specific. If you feel your deck would be totally destroyed by having a Political Deck (Kine Resources Contested) for a Predator, don't automatically start adding Pulling Strings and Suprise Influence. In doing so, you'll water down your deck and it will become a less efficient deck. Look for more general ways of dealing with your weaknesses that could also help out in other ways. Okay, Example. Maybe none of your vampires have titles and you have no access to votes in your deck. Obviously, you're going to get hit pretty hard by a Predator that keeps flinging Kine Resources Contested at you every turn. Rather than say "Well, I can't do anything about it, I might as well ignore it and hope for the best," you can try to find a solution to your problem. Try for a generalized approach. What problems do you think throwing in even one Sports Bike would cause that Political Deck? What about swapping just one of your vampires with another that has similar Disciplines and a political title? If you're playing with small-capcity Malkavians, don't you think you could pass a Malkavian Justicar vote? How about one or two Political Actions that benefit your main strategy, gain you pool, or interfere with your Prey or Predator. Not only will you be able to burn Political Actions during others' votes, but you can use them as barter-material with other Methuselahs... you might even be able to pass them! And Ohanna as the new Malkavian Justicar has a lot of clout in just about any Bloodhunt. So, now you have a Sport Bike in play and Consanguineous Boon in your hand when dealing with a bleeding Predator rather than having a Suprise Influence, Political Backlash. The Sport Bike might not stop those +3 bleeds at +5 stealth, but they'll definately burn through your Predator's stealth far faster than without it, and they work very well in conjunction with Telepathic Misdirection, Deflection, and Telepathic Counter, effectively running your Predator through twice as much stealth every turn just to cause the bleed to fail. "Oh, and by the way, Mr. Political Deck, if I call a Consanguineous Boon for Ventrue, would you mind Banishing Gratiano for me? I'm sure Ohanna will also remember your generosity during next month's elections." ______________________________ 5. To Be Continued ______________________________ I hope you've found this month's newsletter funny, helpful, or entertaining, but I'd definately prefer if you found it all three at once. Until next month, make sure to eat your toast with a variety of toppings (I'm fond of tomatoes, basil, and sea salt). As always, send any comments, questions, articles, salacious offerings, humerous anecdotes, deck ideas, Gangrel jokes, and peanut butter sandwhiches to: Timmy@e-garfield.com Oh! And if anyone wants to post some fun/effective Malkavian Political decks (especially of the Anarch variety) feel free! I've been thinking about making one or three of those to try out. -t!MmY, the mad !nker This newsletter was written by a ficticious person in a ficticious plane of existence. Any resemblences to any real persons or planes of existences is coincidential and utterly impossible. This newsletter may or may not be archived, transmitted, stored, eaten, or manhandled in any way you wish as long as it is kept in its entirety. Make sure not to step in mud puddles because sometimes they're deeper than you first realize and they oft have large carnivorous creatures lurking in their quiet waters.